Just when you thought I couldn't take a bad picture, here I go again, ruining your image of me! Airbrushing can hide a lot, but it couldn't save these pics! Go ahead and laugh, I did too!

How NOT to win friends and influence people, Rule #252 - don't laugh & point when they're naked! Is there anything sillier than sucking on a strap-on?? Come on, what's the point??? Look at that yuk face! We use baby wipes to 'mop up' on set, but they make our bits taste BLECH! Aha, the truth revealed - St. Croix and I are obviously still just learning how this sex stuff works!

Sure, angels can smoke in heaven! Why not? Smoking won't kill ya if you're already dead! Director Brad Armstrong tries pulling the old, "Hey, your fly is down!" trick on Asia... Hey, Director! This extra keeps trying to perform a "full body cavity search" on me! Jill & I were promoting these red lipsticks - which obviously never touched OUR lips!

Whoops, they caught my 'concentrating face' as I was 'adjusting my bits'! Um... a stork impression? ...I'm a little teapot? ...Do the Egyptian? OK, Asia looks good, but that model behind her needs to go! Hey, the photographer ASKED for some tongue, so I gave it to him!

OK, I've had fans say they'd be happy to be my slave, but this is ridiculous! Doria, Devin and I posing for some REALLY dirty pics! Oh yeah, I'm in ecstasy... is it time to go home yet? What the... I don't know! Don't even ask!

Asia strikes another sexy "come-hither" pose for the cameraman I thought Evan & I were doing a hot scene, but our audience seems kinda bored... Ancient Secrets of the Orient Revealed - another use for Chinese fighting swords! The photographer said "Do something with this pen", so I hung it from my ring!

Some days my job really sucks! One day my face will freeze like this... Well now THERE'S a girl who obviously enjoys her work! Oops! Why did I have that chili for lunch?

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